Expination from a New Location

Whist I was off, scoweren' the taverns and ale house I heard a set of unusual rumors about a member of me crew. I feel I can safely divaulge this information with only little bit o' fiben, gyarr. Story goes that there once was a great captain who sailed waters near here, he was firce and had a beard that insired fear and terror to all who served under him. He gathered a great crew indeed and lead in song and pilegin. Though a rival captain started to sail his waters and the two began a pissen' contest to rival all others. Crew and bit of debris flew off of ships to din of nine pounders, screams and cries issued from both sides. But the determination this great captain could not be a shanken. Fer his authority was chalenged and so had to be assurted once and fer all. Well it happened in an intant, as the captain was a barken' orders to prepair for a boarden' one o' the lilly livered crew o' his oponent had swung from the riggens to his ship with sword in hand. Now that captain was a quick man but mildly distracted. The cur swong through and as he past, the captain drew his saber catchen his hit on the rib-nub(xiophod proses) and caring the blade about his belly as easy as he was a cutten vegatables. His great blade had cut the curs stomach open from navel to back and all sorts of inerds where a spillen' out. However, the captain was not unscathed, the foes blade found its mark and had cut the captains face something firce. The cut had not only stole his reputation but sealed his doom forever. Blood and beard hair dripped from his face. The scare isn't as visable now, but the great captain, known fer his fearce beard had lost it all. Ashamed and mail-formed he sulked about the streets. Where upon I met him as the mocary he gained was a sort of amusment for me I am now sorry to say. Soon his drunken antics had saild their way into me heart and I took him aboard as Patches the Curious. It seems he is trien to hide his past though, a bit ashamed I'd wager or maybe just a ploten' for revisiting that con of a catain and his cowerdly crew. Whatever the reason he and his slapstick missadventures shall always be welcome under me mastes.