Change o' the Wind

Avast me land loving varments. It be yer favorite capt'n with some powerful distressen' news. It seems that my gatheren' at the Blue Admiral must be moved on acount of me parole hearing. The Good Amiral has been doing his best to reform me, and doing terrable job I am pleased to say. However, it turns out on one of my "nights off fer good behavior" somebody, accidently sliced open the mayor and threw his still screaming, still bleeding body down the well. gyarr, teach him to pay what he owes the great, be'wigged walrous. It was quite a shoke me boy'os when little Marry Beth, maid o' the baker and his wife, pulled on the rope to find she couldn't lift it. The whole town gathered and tryed getting that bucket up, and after the women all screamed, let it go back down real quick like. Of course, they blame yours trully, because of something they call sercumstasuary evidence or some blasted thing. So I have a hearing on Saterday. SO WE WILL HAVE TO DRINK ON FRIDAY! That's right lads and lasses, be at the Blue Admiral on Friday and get ready to get yer drink on, yer wench on, and yer song on. Tha's right, song on, chouruses of, "Drunken Sailor", "Saucy Bold Rober", and anything else we can thinking of. All amixed with chears of "yarr!" Such great bold fun ye have never had. That why I want one and all to come and join. Because a party with out song is like a captain with out a crew. So, gather yer parots, yer patches, yer garb, but not yer swords. And come on down.

Count Down

Gyarr, lads and lasses of the high seas it be almost time fer a new instolment of everybodys favorite tale, Pirats of the Caribbean . I be awaiting to be blasted over board with the stories of my cousin and his crew. Its high time that the high seas get some mention and merrit. Most now folks be in fear of tearrorists and firewalls and I's find this highly laughable, har har har. Though don't be getten' me wrong land lovers, walls of fire be still somethen' that afear the ol' captain. I mean look at those poor Egypians runnin after those Hebrew folk. I may be a foolish fellow, but one does not mock the works of the all mighty, fer fear of the price ye pay maybe more than just deblunes! But the rules, as they say, those I might not adhear to on acounting it would make the pilaging less fun! Yes captain again. But that be a long story with plenty a gorry details tha rattle yer bones and send yer stomachs in quakes. But, there's a time and a place. Needless to say, I don't be hanging at the Blue Admiral as offten as I like. A trip to the brige and an officer clamming he could, "Reform me into a model citizan." Tiss to laugh, but did grant me my feedom from that acusesed prison. I will be on leave, yes, and back to the Blue Admiral after my favorite cup o' stout and a tale or two from members of me old crew. Friday, the 21st I shall return. And all of ye lasses are personally envited by yer noble Cap'n to take in the festivities and yer share of admeral fellow. Thow wenches be warned yer madenship may come in to question after this affair be through. A good loud and long row of song and mariment that I hope to start. No man, woman, nor child shall be turned out of this dubious celebration. Yarr. But, I have Cabin duties as apart of my, "Reform Criterian". So I bid avast and may the wind always be at yer backs and sails never slack.