Look'n Fer Me Arss

Oh... It be a sad day indeed, me bright buckos. A first, I was in me head, goin' bout me business when we run a'ground on some uncharted island. I gave me watchsman a good sound lashin fer rattlin me ship. A then we a go a'shore (fer provisions, barens and the like) and me first mate seems to be ill. I don't know how many times I told Froyd not to trust those berries. Sos I gots to slash me way inta the very heart with me doctor to find a cure fer them berries. Kuha said that if the island had the toxin in the form of the berries, then logically it a had to have the anti-toxin, or cure. Other wise the animals that eat the berries normally would all die unless there was some natural resitance do to another supliment in their diet. I didn't get what he was a reachen fer, but I figured I'd agree with him or he wouldn't stop explain'n. Sos here we are, me self, the doctor, and two swabs we call mules. Sees, we call them mules cause they carry provisions, rations, and emergency equiptment, like a shovel. Now we're a walken along when, wouldn't you know it, me keen senses detect danger. "Avast ye dogs," I warn, "There be unstable ground afoot!" For me foot had sunk about 12 inches into the earth. Me crew being the best, ran back to the ship to get aid for never before had they encounterd such an advisary. Well, there a mule that a left behind, fer emotional support. I called out to him to lower a branch. And wouldn't you know it, the swab did just that. He pulled as I climbed and I was able to get out. "Quick sand," says I and I pats the mule on 'is back, fer a job well done. But, he get's all week kneed and jumps into sand. And before me crew could arive a bring'n that master at arms, I had lost me ass.